In the Rock

When we went to the mountain to set ourselves and this new endeavor before God on August 1, I was drawn to the sound of a waterfall in the distance.  Water anywhere in the desert for this Michigan girl is a huge attraction.   Naturally, I found myself sitting against a rock within earshot of the trickling water.   My senses filled with the cool temperature of the flat, gray rock I sat on, the sounds of birds and water, and the smell of crisp mountain air.   

At peace. I didn't expect to find myself here.  Here in the cleft of a rock ledge, feeling a calm assurance of God's presence.   I'm more used to staying in control or worrying when I'm not.  I'm all too familiar with the constant underlying fear and unwillingness to trust God for His future for me.   But peace washed over me as I reflected on God's past faithfulness to me.   I went to the mountain with self-centered motives, but before we left, I submitted my will to this new thing (as scared and ill-equipped as I feel) and felt wrapped in a blanket of joy and anticipation.   Resting against the Rock.

In the Rock, I poured out some of my longings to God:  that Jim and I will feel a sense of shared ministry in The Gathering;  that my kids will experience Jesus as they participate with us in hospitality, service and talking more about God with people;  that a person or couple will feel called to join us in prayer for Tucson and this new church;  that I will finally have God's eyes and heart for Tucson and the people I see every day.  

He heard my heart.  Already this week we've been able to do some shared ministry with a few people.  I've ventured out in to new locations in Tucson and revisited some familiar ones- I can't explain it, but I have new eyes and feel drawn toward people in a way I haven't experienced in a while.   The first person who wants to join us in this adventure ate dinner with us this week.  The kids are asking good questions and curious about our new conversations and dreams.   And its only the first week. . . .

Praise to a God who hears and knows!

Church: What Is It?

I've heard it said that books don't change people, but lines do. I believe it.

Here is one of my favorites: "The church is not here for you. You are the church and you are here for the world."    - Kirby-Jon Caldwell

Lately I've been thinking about, reflecting on, and dreaming about what the church is, what it should be, and what it can be. Liz and I have also asked lots of different people to share their perspective and answers to these questions. We've heard a wide range of answers and thoughts on it and all have been helpful.

Would you take a minute to share your thoughts about what the church is, what it should be, and what it can be?

On The Mountain ...

"When I climb down the mountain ... and get back to my life, I won't settle for ordinary things. Gonna follow You forever, for all of my days ... and I won't rest, till I see you again! Show me your glory!"

Cool lyrics from a song I dig from Third Day called 'Show Me Your Glory.'

That was our experience on the mountain yesterday ...

We drove close to the summit of Mount Lemmon, parked at Marshal Gulch, grabbed water and Bibles, and hiked to a solitary place and there prayed. Smelling pine needles, fresh, cool mountain air, hearing water glissading down rock escardments, seeing the granduer of mountain valleys, feeling the rugged, raw beauty of undisturbed terrain, touching hard, cold rock bluffs, viewing the city of Tucson in the vast distance, and sensing the presence of God within and around us ... there we met Him and there we set ourselves and this new journey apart to and for Him and His renown.

 I chose a sunny rock escardment jetting out into the mountain valley with a sheer 100' drop to connect with God. I sat a foot from the edge, overlooking the valley - and the ground - and poured my soul out to God. This location is a great spiritual analogy for the journey we're on: exposed and vulnerable in the raw elements, in the light of God's presence and care, on the edge of a risky journey, at the beginning of a new trajectory.

Are we afraid? Yes, more than ever. Are we confident in God's presence? Yes, more than ever. Are we ready to begin the 'gathering'? Yes, and we're on the ground running.

As I sat communing with God on the escardment's edge, I felt lots of things, among them a calmness, that I was resting in God's care. A confidence, that I have God's Spirit within me. An eager expectation, that God is about to do great things. An abiding sense of being loved, that God accepts and loves us. A strong belief, that God will use us to introduce others to Him.

During this time of drawing near to God - reading Scripture, praying, confessing, expressing hopes and longing, making requests, and enjoying Him - I sat quiet to make space to hear from Him freshly. While relishing the solitude, I saw an eagle soaring over the valley just a few hundred yards away. I thought of Isaiah 40:27-31, especially verse 31: "But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles. They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind." God reminded me of how our journey to love and serve people has been characterized by 'waiting.'

This object lesson on the mountain is especially meaningful to us. In 2003, as we were driving to Tucson, AZ to serve Bethel Church, with my Harley in tow, the engine in our truck totally seized up; we broke down in El Paso, IL and were stranded there for a week while a Ford Dealership rebuilt our GMC engine. And there God began to teach us the importance of waiting on Him. There we learned that 'waiting on Him' is synonomous with 'depending on and trusting in Him'.

I felt my heart well up with emotion as I watched that eagle soar over the mountain canyons and ravines. God drew my attention to Isaiah 57:15 "I live in the high and holy places, but also with the low-spirited, the spirit-crushed, and what I do is put a new spirit in them, get them up and on their feet again."

That is what God did for me n Liz on the mountain yesterday. We have a new spirit in us. He got us up and on our feet again. We feel revived, refreshed, and ready to follow Him freshly.

Here the tune again:

"When we climb down the mountain ... and get back to our lives, we won't settle for ordinary things. Gonna follow You forever, for all of our days ... and we won't ever be the same! Show me your glory!"     

   

Late Bloomer ...

I am a late bloomer.

I was born two minutes behind my twin sister.  I finished high school the summer following my graduation. I started college at age 29.  I finished my master's degree at age 37.  My wife and I began having children when I was 39.  Today we have three beautiful children ages 3, 5 and 7 and I am 46 years young.

Like I said, I'm a late bloomer!

Spiritually, I was brought up as a Roman Catholic.  I had some affection for God during my younger years but had not bowed the knee to Him- in other words, 'I did it my way.' Period. In middle school, my family joined a Protestant church. We were really involved and committed. I loved it!

Then, after the pastor's moral failure, the church disbanded and our family never settled again into a church.


With this experience, I began to rebel against Christianity, religion, and anything God-related.  Generally, I felt it was all a joke- irrelevant and hypocritical.  I carried that pain and hurt for years and in my mid-20s, it was clear it was killing me.  I had been medicating myself with impure relationships and various substances, trying to dull the pain of living with no meaning, no truth, no hope and no sense of God's presence.


Finally, when I was 25, I experienced a remarkable conversion  - not to a religion, a tradition, or a denomination - but to Jesus. It was a life-transforming experience!  At first, it was really weird.  I felt like my old self had melted away and a new self was beginning to emerge.  New desires, new longings, new sensitivities, new hope, new love, new faith.


Soon I will share more details of this season of my turning from darkness to light.  I call this part of my story "Stand in Man".  Keep posted.


With this new faith and new life, I felt God was calling me to serve him as a pastor/shepherd.  So, for several years I served and grew at Brookfield Church in Wisconsin.  After encouragement from my pastor, an incredibly loving and godly man, I went back to school for eight years at age 29 to study and grow, with the goal of serving as a pastor.   While in school, God creatively arranged my path to intersect with that of a beautiful young woman, Elizabeth, and we soon thereafter married.

Midway through my years of school, I had the privilege of studying four months on Israel's Mt Zion on the southwest corner of Jerusalem's Old City.  The school is called Jerusalem University College.  While there, our class toured at length the various locations around Israel and we also spent time in Jordan.  The meat and potatoes course there is called "Physical settings of the Bible".  If you dig geography, rock-types, killer hiking, visiting crazy, sometimes dangerous places, and are captivated by Biblical history, you'd love studying there.

We moved to Tucson, Arizona in the fall of 2003 to serve Bethel Church and during roughly five years there witnessed the joy and exuberance of the birth of three wonderful children.   We also served with The Village - an awesome community here in Tucson - for two-and-a-half years where we continue to see God doing quite remarkable things regularly. 

Today we are called by God to raise up a new ministry.  We are super excited about this adventure but frankly fairly freaked out about it too.  For us, part of our church planting experience will be to work bi-vocationally in order to stay connected with lots of different people.  I'll continue to teach as an adjunct instructor at Pima College.   Liz will continue serving at The Crisis Pregnancy Center. 

All this to say: we long to see others receive the same grace of God we ourselves have received!

Up next: "Stand In Man"

Rowing Out

Our newsletters have gone out and we're starting to gear up for August 1. I've been thinking about the passage in Luke 5 where Jesus called the disciples back to fishing after a night of not catching anything. As we head out its like we have left the shore and its getting deeper.  It reminds me of my old fishing days in Canada.  My friends and I used to paddle and portage for dozens of miles into the wilderness.  Starting this new church feels a lot like leaving the safety of solid ground and portaging out into that Canadian wilderness counting and depending on our faith in Jesus and all we know of Him so far in our journey.  All of a sudden we're out in the deep water.  We can't see the ground anymore and its a scary and exhilarating place to be.    

Part of the gathering of this new church is like Paul talks about in Ephesians. He says that Jesus fills all things in every way.   What He's asking each of us to do is complete His "body" here on earth.  We aren't just gathering people from other churches, but gathering those who are not yet part of Jesus body.  That's amazing!  Jesus body is not yet complete. Its exciting to think that we are paddling out to gather in parts and members of His body to give fuller expression of all that Jesus is.   We wonder who will Jesus gather through us?  What will their strengths and issues be? How will we see more of Jesus in and through them and what this might become?  

As part of gathering people freshly out of the world, I think of my own experience of being gathered in: skeptical, afraid, insecure, despertately lonely and without hope, suspicious, anxious.  I sat in the back of the chruch, hyper-ventliating, confused and looking for the exits.  I picked up the Bible not knowing what the Old and New Testaments were, who Paul was, or what grace was about. We long to create a safe place for people not yet part of God's Kingdom to come to learn and grow.   A place where its okay to struggle and not have everything figured out, but a place that will soon reflect more of the Jesus we long to know more.

Elvis' Harley

Check out my profile picture. Me and my two sons, Max and Luke, are standing by a Harley Elvis bought, rode, and then gave to a friend. It is on display at the Harley Davidson Museum in Milwaukee, WI.